Urine Test for the Benefit Scoungers

[Owd Rooter]

Ah well! As HI's latest contribution to the well being of our nation, was posted in 'General Chat', and not 'Jokes n' Funnies'. Earwigo then! Once more with feeling!!

In all 'safety critical' roles such as transport and engineering, radom tests for drink and drugs are common place. So from his experience of such regimes, is our mythical Oil Rig Worker, suggesting we start pouncing on Benefit Claiments in the street, or merely make it a requirement when 'Signing On?'

Because as well as costing a small fortune to implement as MM has correctly observed, beyond making a few Daily Wail readers and 'far right-ish' activists, incandescent with righteous indignation. Our redneck friend must surely know, that in all practical terms down here in the real world, it would serve very little purpose. As canny claimants would only have to abstain for 12 hours or so before signing to get a clear reading.

How would you ever inforce such a hare brained scheme? Waffen DHSS Hit Squads lurking outside every Wetherspoons perhaps? But how would that stop the Andy Capp lookalike who ties a tenner and a note, to the collar of his ever faithful whippet, or sends the missus or the kids to buy it for him at Tesco? Then unsportingly foresakes the park bench to drink it in his own home! "Come out with your sleeves rolled up! We know you've got BEER in there!"

But never mind such minor practicalities. If that story's now 'doing the rounds', it will no doubt soon 'go viral', and consequently be adopted as official UKIP policy by lunchtime!

[HJY368F]

Should the test be introduced for pensioners and those on disability benefits?

[Hayling Islander]

Originally Posted by HJY368F

Should the test be introduced for pensioners and those on disability benefits?

Ha Ha, no they would be far too busy with their driving tests for a start

[Hayling Islander]

Originally Posted by HJY368F

Should the test be introduced for pensioners and those on disability benefits?

Tried to rep you, would not let me!

[Aardvark]

Easily applied, people are tested on a random basis.

Every member of the Armed Forces is subject to random drugs testing, they never know when it will happen and can't 'plan' for it.

[Owd Rooter]

But you can tell someone's a member of the Armed Forces fairly easily, the uniform tends to be a dead giveaway for starters. To be truly "random" though it would have to be a 'Martini Test' - Any time! Any place! Anywhere!

Short of tattooing National Insurance numbers on their foreheads, complete presumably with barcodes for ease of identification. Or possibly criminal style 'tagging', or maybe 'microchipping' them canine fashion ('Doggie style?' ). How would the testing crew know who to pounce on as they stagger ow't pub, and how would a non-claimant ever be able to prove they are not on Benefits?

And we're not a fascist state just yet. Is it really right to treat everyone on Benefits as a criminal, just to catch a small minority who take advantage of the system? And what justice is there in wilfully dehumanising people, for the 'sin' of not being able to get a job in a time of record unemployment?

[Hayling Islander]

Originally Posted by Owd Rooter

But you can tell someone's a member of the Armed Forces fairly easily, the uniform tends to be a dead giveaway for starters. To be truly "random" though it would have to be a 'Martini Test' - Any time! Any place! Anywhere!

Short of tattooing National Insurance numbers on their foreheads, complete presumably with barcodes for ease of identification. Or possibly criminal style 'tagging', or 'microchipping' them canine fashion (Doggie style? ). How would the testing crew know who to pounce on, as they stagger ow't pub, and how would a non-claimant be able to prove they are not on Benefits?

Is it really right to treat everyone on Benefits as a criminal, just to catch a small minority who take advantage of the system? And what justice is there in wilfully dehumanising people, for the 'sin' of not being able to get a job in a time of record unemployment?

On the flip is it fair to treat everyone who works as a criminal just to catch a minority who may have the odd drink or bit of drugs?

[Owd Rooter]

If you willingly take on a job where you are responsible for the lives and safety of others - absolutely!

[badger]

Originally Posted by Hayling Islander

... Please understand that I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sit on their **** drinking beer and smoking dope.
...

Originally Posted by Maytrees Resurrected

Seems a good idea to me. Excessive drinking and drugs is a life choice that taxpayers shouldn't have to pay for. I expect liberals will think otherwise.

I thought benefits were calculated to support a minimum standard of living, not one of excess of anything. (Got any evidence to the contrary?) All you good people know really, don't you, that the drugs and booze are funded not from benefits but from the massive crimewave from which eagle21 gets his orgasms when he reports on it from time to time?

Originally Posted by Hayling Islander

Do the tests twice a year and the person claiming the benefits has to foot the bill.

... Thus pushing up the amount of benefit to be paid.

[Owd Rooter]

Given the amount of Forum time we have already expended on this fatuous proposion, and the many pages of diatribe that are no doubt set to come. I suspect we've already failed the 'Urine Test', that HI has so adeptly set for us!